What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 25.06.2025 15:06
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
What did i know ?
But, we were locked up after school.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Ive learnt so much.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
What do you do you do if your motorcycle chain snaps while riding on the highway?
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
UFC champ Jon Jones retires, hit with another criminal charge in Albuquerque - Albuquerque Journal
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
King Charles Shares Super Rare Photo With Late Father Prince Philip - AOL.com
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
All the time i was locked up.
Do you as a gay male enjoy the feeling of getting a penis in your anus?
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I will be 64.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
How can I showcase AI usage, like OpenAI or Claude AI, in my job application process?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
How Fast Are You Aging? Neuroscience Says These 3 Simple Tests Can Tell You - Inc.com
I was seconnd youngest,
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Anthony Richardson says his shoulder is ready to go for training camp - NBC Sports
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Campbell’s Snack Business Struggles as Consumers Get Pickier About Food Spending - WSJ
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
L.A. Dodgers, facing fan pressure, pledge $1M after immigration raids - The Washington Post
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Skyrim meets Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag in gorgeous new RPG - GAMINGbible
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Why did i forgive my father ?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
My family never makes their pension either.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Who then, do I blame.?
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
This is soul school!.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
(And it was in our own minds.)
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
She wouldn,t have been !
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
When she asked me how she looked .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She married twice! .
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She found it foreign!.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I write beautiful poetry .
Put me off passion for life!!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
But it wasn’t much.
So whats the point in blame.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
We were not on the streets..
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I said to her
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I was scared of men, in general
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I waited trembling.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Im still living with it.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I never cut or harmed myself..
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
She was in good health!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I was very sick at this time too.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
It was going to be , some day.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
My life is so biszare .
Was to survive, this bastard.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I could never make a relationship work though!
I couldn’t, believe it.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He knew the spot.
I think the readers, may guess!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
He resisted the act ,that day.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
She loved him until the end.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
One cannot live in the past .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I don,t even have a pension.
Comes on , in middle age.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
And i lived it daily.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
So, i spoilt her more .
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I was 9 years of age.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
We all went to grammer schools
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
As i do to all so called friends.?
I have no regrets .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Would this be the day?
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
But im dying ,and its too late for me.